My very own Superhero

     I start my bachelor’s program later this month.  I’m so nervous, but I’m also a little excited for the new challenge.  I’m nervous because I’m afraid that I might be too overwhelmed and fail.  This semester, I’ll be taking 5 classes, while working full-time.  I’ve decided to put the floral business on pause, BUT I still have several events booked for the rest of the year.  I don’t want my business to suffer, and that’s why I want to put it on hold while I complete my degree.  The program is supposed to be 2 years if I follow the plan, however, the option to extend it is available to me if I don’t want to overwhelm myself.  Let’s see how I do after the fall semester and decide how I want to proceed.

    We were supposed to be in Vegas today for a mini vacation.  I’m a little sad that we couldn’t go away, but FIL’s care takes precedence.  We had already booked a hotel and planned our trip, but we received notice that FIL might need to go in for a biopsy so without a second thought, we both agreed that we should stay behind and support MIL & FIL.  I told him that I wanted to get away before I settled down and focused on my program for the next 2 years.  After we cancelled the hotel, we then found out that the biopsy might not even take place until Thursday, a day after we would have returned from our trip.  Oh well, I suppose it wasn’t meant to be.  Seeing that I was slightly disappointed, he went to look at hotels for other dates/weeks.  He’s so sweet.  Lately, he’s been doing all the chores around the house.  He’s been doing the dishes every night, usually that’s my job.  He’s also been cooking different recipes and making sure it’s stuff I’d eat because I’m such a picky eater.  He’s been supportive and encouraging on my path to recovery; emotionally, physically, and mentally.  Emotionally, he lets me grieve the loss of my grandparents.  I would have moments where I’m just sad and feeling down, and sometimes there are tears involved too.  All Joey could do was hold me and help wipe the tears away and reassures me that they’re at peace, though comforted, it doesn’t necessarily lessen the pain.  Physically, we’re trying to get into shape for vanity purposes (lol) because we’re aiming to take a vacation to Hawaii with our parents as well as prepping our bodies in hopes that we’ll be ready and fit to have children.  Mentally, we want to reduce my stress levels so I can relax and focus on important goals.  Let that be school or a positive pregnancy.  My auto-immune disease has made it difficult for us to conceive because I was not ovulating at all.  I started seeing a new herbalist and so far, I haven’t felt any difference physically, but I feel like I’m starting to menstruate!  I haven’t had a menstrual cycle since January, and it scares me because I’m worried that the chance to become a Mom has passed.  Joey has been supportive through and through.  He’s told me not to stress and reassured me that whether we can have kids or not, it won’t change a thing between us.    

    I cannot thank this man enough for loving me exactly the way I am.  When we met, I was at my 2^nd prime.  I had lost some weight and I was single for a good 4 years, just living my life and having the best time traveling and living with my bff.  Work was okay, I had dived into school full-time again when we met.  I never imagined the shy boy sitting next to me would someday become the wonderful husband that he is.  From there, he encouraged me to quit my job where I was constantly being bullied and chase my dream of becoming a business owner.  He endured long work hours with me AFTER his day job.  From all the stress, long hours, irregular mealtimes and toss auto-immune disease into the mix, I’ve gained (embarrassingly) over 40 pounds in the last 10 years that we’ve been together.  But he’s never loved me any less.  Even when I don’t look or feel my best, he still tells me that I’m cute and looks at me with the same way he’s always had.  Through our highs and lows, thick and thin, he’s shown me unconditional love.  A love that I’ve never felt from anyone else other than from my own family.  He’s my superhero.  My knight in shining armor.  The true love of my life.  I'm so lucky to have him and his love.  Most importantly, he respects me, even when we can't agree sometimes.