See ya later, friend.

I wrote this post on our 4th Wedding Anniversary, it was also the day that our friend, Andy Lam was laid to rest.


To Our Dearest Andy,

    I haven’t exactly found the right words to bid you farewell since finding out about your passing via Facebook a week ago. In fact, I only cried for a few short minutes when I was working in my little she-shed last week. A huge part of me thinks that maybe if I didn’t cry, it wouldn’t be true. But when my friends were texting me to check in on me, I wanted to let it all out, I couldn’t hold back anymore and let myself cry. It pains me to write this and bid farewell to you this way. You and I used to talk about the most random shits. And it’s always at like 2-3am lol. We had the shittiest sleeping schedules, to top it off, Lily used to wake your ass up to go for a walk lol. Thinking about how you left so suddenly hurts…A LOT. You’ve always been organized with your business, making sure things are taken care of before you can step away even just for a day. You had to make sure Pops was in good hands and the business was looked after while you were gone. Even then, you’d take calls while you were away from the business. I respected your hustle, and you respected mine because you and I were the same. It must drive you crazy that you had to leave in such a fashion because you’re going to worry about all the loose ends. And I dwelled on that for the past week. I also dwelled on the fact that you’re so young and you still had so much to live for. Talking about finding the right girl to “wife up”, to wanting to expand your business, to buying a farm and living off the grid and even trying to steal Joey and run off to Vietnam together, to hide out from me, get with all the fine honeys and eat good food lol. You know what? I told my MIL about that lol. Along with the fact that you had passed away. Although she’s only met you very briefly, she remembered you! She was sad when she heard. Then her sadness, like Joey’s, became concerns. They were worried about my crazy work schedules and my crazy sleep schedules and not to mention, my unhealthy diet.

    For the last week, I relived our memories of us hanging out. You and I met when I was probably at the lowest point of my life. I don’t think you knew me on Xanga, but on BU. After BU, I want to say you went back and read all my posts on Xanga lol. My angry, bitter and sad posts about how crappy my last relationship was. How much crap I endured, how young and stupid I was for staying as long as I did. Our friendship was by chance, we weren’t even that close to begin with! And it felt like we didn’t have much in common. It wasn’t until I went into the floral business and you opened your koi fish/koi pond business. That was when we really bonded over our businesses, our core values, our love for food, our crazy randomness and the way we see life. I remembered when you asked if it was cool to crash at our apt when you came down for a koi fish convention and without even thinking, I said sure! Phong and I were going to bunk up together and let you sleep in my room, but you said you were more comfortable on the couch/floor. We thought you were just being polite (or a little weird at the time lol). You came with Peetz Coffee and a french press for us because I told you how much we loved coffee. You would be at the convention in Anaheim and Phong and I were at work. We’d meet up for dinner together, and I remember you bringing Brodard’s back and I came home with Porto’s. We invited other BU’ers to come over and had a feast!! It wasn’t until after you’ve left that we opened the French press and found $200 stuffed inside of it. Phong and I were stunned like…was he hiding his cash and forgot?? LOL Finally I called you about it and you said you had left it for us, for our hospitality. It was at that moment, when I realized that you were a good egg. We’ll never forget that.

    On the evening before our big day, you drove straight from Oakland to my flower shop where you met a bunch of random ass people swarming the shop lol. Joey and I weren’t allowed to see each other the evening before, so we had our friends all over town, helping us prep last minute things. HECK, Joey barely went to go shoe shopping that day!! You showed up, ready to pitch in. Asking us if we needed anything, food, water, snacks (LOL), etc. Finally we let you help us move all the alcohol/drinks to the venue for the bar. You did all this before YOU ate dinner or even checked into the hotel. YOU were this selfless person that thought of others first. YOU wanted to make sure that we were taken care of before you got situated. I was finally able to urge you to go check into the hotel and get some rest. The night of the wedding, we had so many guests. It was a hot mess! We didn’t have a seating chart because we wanted people to be able with people they wanted to lol or people they knew, but it was first come first serve seating haha. 2 of my high school friends (1 with 2 toddlers) ended up on your table. I’ll never forget the moment I came across the photobooth picture of you carrying one of the kids LOL. I’m like WTF ANDY!! WHY’D YOU KIDNAP MY FRIENDS KID?! Hahahha it was the best. You befriended everyone and anyone, that was who you are. And that’s probably why it’s been so hard for me. Because you were certainly one of a kind. I don’t have very many friends like you. I have friends with big hearts, but not a lot that are friendly and generous like you. When Joey and I visited SF with a few other friends, you made them your friends too. You took us out to dinner and paid for our meals, these were people you’ve just met for the first time, too!

    The last few times you came to visit, you only stayed for a night and you wanted to hit up all these foodie spots. I regret not hitting them all with you because I took our time together for granted. I thought to myself, we’ll have plenty more opportunities! I’m so sad and so mad that I’m wrong about that. We ended up getting Tokyo Fried Chicken and came home and ate it here. We stayed up late, shooting the shit and munching on crunchy beef jerky that you brought us. We eventually went to sleep and then woke up a few hours later to hit up your favorite spot, Porto’s. We had breakfast there and then you went home. The next time you visited, you also stayed a night, I forgot what we had for dinner though ☹ But we ended up shooting the crap again, until 4-5am and you went to bed and I got ready for work and left. You went home later that morning and that was the last time we hung out. I just never expected that to be the last time we’d ever see you in person again. We’re lucky that the very few chances you get to visit, we got to spend it with you. It felt like we never sleep whenever we do hang out. Remember when we went to visit SF for a week?? You’d wake our asses up at 7-8am to eat breakfast! I HATED YOU FOR IT!! I was like, I’m on vacation!! DON’T WAKE ME UP SO DAMN EARLY!!! Haha you’d wake up early and go get us breakfast and had it waiting for us when we woke up. You’d give us a list of places to hit up on our way in/out of town. You always waited for us for dinner and you were like a little kid when you got to meet Mr. Chairman Bao himself lol. I think that may have been the first time you were REALLY impressed by me lol, because I knew Mr. Chairman Bao. You guys became instant friends too, no surprise there.

    I want you to know that you’ve made a huge impact on a lot of peoples’ lives. Not just mine. You’re a busy man but you’ve always taken time out to care for your friends. To check in on them, to make sure they’re doing well and that they’re safe. You’d drop off fruits/goodies/snacks at your local friends and families’ homes. I hate to think that you’ve used up all the time you were given, and that’s why you were called home so soon ☹ As little time as you had on Earth, you made an impact. Yes, we might not see eye to eye when it came to politics lol, but our friendship never suffered from that for a minute, not even a split second. As hard as it may be for some to see you for who you are on the inside, despite your political views and beliefs, it never defined you as a person.

    I’m going to miss our random facebook msgs or text msgs at 2-3am. I will miss your visits. I will miss our foodie adventures and the next girl you want to “wife up”. Our future trips to SF/Oakland will never feel the same because you won’t be there to meet up with us anymore. We won’t get to share anymore funny stories or our “thug” stories HAHAHA. Who’s gonna hype me up now when I act a fool?! Who’s gonna try to convince Joey to let me own a gun?! You’re not gonna be here to laugh with me when I have stories to tell you like how I raced a vato on the street and then rolled my window down to cuss them out, even though the 2 men were bald and tatted from the neck down – all the while Joey is sitting in the passenger seat, praying for our lives. I’ll save the stories for when I see you again, on the other side. Save me a seat and we’ll play catch up some day. But for now, it’s not good bye, but I’ll see you later.

Today, you will be laid to rest. To think, just 4 short years ago, you were here in LA, getting ready to celebrate our big day with us. I promise that we’ll live our lives with purpose and on this day, every year, we’ll honor your memory by trying a different restaurant and living a little. Thanks for being such an awesome friend over the years and always rooting for our successes. Rest in Paradise, homie. We love you and miss you.


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